What can I expect in my first therapy session?

A first therapy session will evoke a degree of anxiety in most people, which is not surprising - the thought of opening up your inner most thoughts and feelings to someone you have just met is an unusual situation to say the least. Add to this the fact that the therapist won’t reveal much (if anything) about themselves and the situation gets even more unusual. But this is one of the essential points of therapy - you are talking to someone who has no stake in your life, who presumably knows no one you know. For this reason you might feel happier to off-load things that you felt were too much for those in your life to bear. But you may be concerned that your new therapist will judge you in some way with what you are bringing. Or maybe you feel the issues aren’t grave enough to warrant the amount of distress they are causing you. Either way, a good therapist will listen carefully to whatever you want to talk about, without judging or being critical. In fact, a good therapist is there to do the opposite - not just to support you but also work with you to facilitate change in your life.

What do you want to get from therapy?

In the first session, after introducing themselves and talking about confidentiality, most therapists will then ask you what it is that you are looking to achieve through therapy. To spend some time before your first session thinking about this will not only help you succinctly communicate your aims to your therapist - it might also be useful for you to really think what it is that you would like to change or achieve. You might ponder not just what you want to change, but why now? What are the priorities for you at this point in your life? It may be that you can’t clearly say why you’ve decided to start therapy. It might be that you simply feel something isn’t right and you need help to work out what that might be. But that in itself is also a therapy goal.

Taking things slowly

Therapy is about moving at your own pace. Some people feel pressure to say everything in the very first session that they feel is relevant. For me, therapy is all about establishing a good relationship with a client. This means that in time, trust will form, and so the client I hope will feel increasingly safe. For some people this takes no time at all, for others it might take weeks or months. But when you feel safe enough, and only when you feel safe enough, you are then, at your pace, able to share what you feel you want to. At the end of the first session I may invite you to share how you have experienced this - how easy or hard it has been, or any concerns you may have about working together.

Is this the right person for me?

Apart from starting to build a rapport with a therapist and letting them know your aims for therapy, the first session is your chance to have a think as to whether they are right for you. Do you feel comfortable in a room with them? Is there anything that makes you feel uneasy or that you are unsure about? I actually think it’s quite an unconscious thing - knowing if you feel ok enough with someone to work with them in this setting.

But you don’t have to decide after the first session. I suggest to clients that we work together for four sessions before they make the decision to carry on further. Even if several sessions down the line you feel it’s just not working, you are free to leave and try a different therapist instead.

To book in a first session together, contact me here. I look forward to meeting you soon.